i'm so confused about what i really want to do.
ok well maybe i do know what i want to do,
but i'm confused about what everyone else wants me to do.
what am i speaking of?
if it was up to me,
up to me,
i would like to be a fashion designer.
i have so many
designs in my head it's crazy
how it all fits up there.
but my father doesn't want me to fulfill that dream.
so then i decided,
maybe i'll do business,
then maybe i'll accounting,
or maybe i'll do international business instead--
to make my father happy.
ya well that didn't go so well.
then i decided that maybe
social work will be good for me since
i lvoe being nosey and i like to help people.
these are everyone's replies:
"very little money"
"why do you want to do that?"
another dream out the window.
so what am i left with?
my mom has been drilling me about
physical, occupational, and speech therapy.
i chose physical therapy,
but now she's drilling me about occupational.
a doctorate of physical therapy will take me
between 3-7 years [because i wasn't able to find an excat "timeline" of when i'll be done because the people who answered the questions before me might have not been physical therapists themselves].
i don't know if i should just quit
and start over again
or take a looooooooooooong vacation
away from everyone else to think
and get my mind clear.
there are some fine men there.
lol i'm only 19,
but it wouldn't hurt to look
[aha! just saying]
i d k .
i may need to do a lot of soul searching
to find who i am
and not how people want me to be.
i am going to school to pursue a career for me
and me only.
i really don't know who i am.
usually a person likes a couple things.
i like them A L L .
a normal human being knows what they want--
i don't. i can never make up my mind.
what i am trying to get at is maybe i really am like her
[her being a character i'm using for a story line
for my designs. her name is so cool!]
i'm lost and i can't find my way home.
i can't find my voice nor can i find my soul either.
do you see how one small thing can afffect one's train of thought?