by Brett Blumenthal - Sheer Balance, on Wed May 13, 2009 8:01am PDT
Although we like to think that the people in our lives are well-adjusted, happy, healthy minded individuals, we sometimes realize that it just isn't so. Personally, I've had moments where I'll be skipping through my day, happy as can be, thinking life is grand and BAM, I'll be blindsided by someone who manages to knock the happy wind out of my sails. Sometimes it is easy to write it off and other times, not so much.
Maybe you are a positive person, but when you are around a certain individual, you feel negative. Or, maybe you have an idealistic view of the world and when you are with certain people, you are made to feel silly, unrealistic or delusional. Or, maybe you pride yourself in being completely independent and in control of your life, but when you are around a certain family member, you regress into a state of childhood.
Some of these situations, and yes, these people, can have a tremendously negative impact on our lives. And, although we are all human and have our 'issues,' some 'issues' are quite frankly, toxic. They are toxic to our happiness. They are toxic to our mental outlook. They are toxic to our self-esteem. And they are toxic to our lives. They can suck the life out of us and even shorten our lifespan.
Here are the worst of the toxic personalities out there and how to spot them:
1. Manipulative Mary: These individuals are experts at manipulation tactics. Is a matter of fact, you may not even realize you have been manipulated until it is too late. These individuals figure out what your 'buttons' are, and push them to get what they want.
Why they are toxic: These people have a way of eating away at your belief system and self-esteem. They find ways to make you do things that you don't necessarily want to do and before you know it, you lose your sense of identity, your personal priorities and your ability to see the reality of the situation. The world all of a sudden becomes centered around their needs and their priorities.
2. Narcissistic Nancy: These people have an extreme sense of self-importance and believe that the world revolves around them. They are often not as sly as the Manipulative Marys of the world, but instead, tend to be a bit overt about getting their needs met. You often want to say to them "It isn't always about you."
Why they are toxic: They are solely focused on their needs, leaving your needs in the dust. You are left disappointed and unfulfilled. Further, they zap your energy by getting you to focus so much on them, that you have nothing left for yourself.
3. Debbie Downers: These people can't appreciate the positive in life. If you tell them that it is a beautiful day, they will tell you about the impending dreary forecast. If you tell them you aced a mid-term, they'll tell you about how difficult the final is going to be.
Why they are toxic: They take the joy out of everything. Your rosy outlook on life continues to get squashed with negativity. Before you know it, their negativity consumes you and you start looking at things with gray colored glasses yourself.
4. Judgmental Jims: When you see things as cute and quirky, they see things as strange and unattractive. If you find people's unique perspectives refreshing, they find them 'wrong'. If you like someone's eclectic taste, they find it 'disturbing' or 'bad'.
Why they are toxic: Judgmental people are much like Debbie Downers. In a world where freedom rings, judgment is sooo over. If the world was a homogeneous place, life would be pretty boring. Spending a lot of time with these types can inadvertently convert you into a judgmental person as well.
5. Dream Killing Keiths: Every time you have an idea, these people tell you why you can't do it. As you achieve, they try to pull you down. As you dream, they are the first to tell you it is impossible.
Why they are toxic: These people are stuck in what is instead of what could be. Further, these individuals eat away at your self-esteem and your belief in yourself. Progress and change can only occur from doing new things and innovating, dreaming the impossible and reaching for the stars.
6. Insincere Illissas: You never quite feel that these people are being sincere. You tell a funny story, they give you a polite laugh. You feel depressed and sad and they give you a 'there, there' type response. You tell them you are excited about something and you get a very ho-hum response.
Why they are toxic: People who aren't sincere or genuine build relationships on superficial criteria. This breeds shallow, meaningless relationships. When you are really in need of a friend, they won't be there. When you really need constructive criticism, they would rather tell you that you are great the way you are. When you need support, they would rather see you fail or make a fool of yourself.
7. Disrespectful Dannys: These people will say or do things at the most inappropriate times and in the most inappropriate ways. In essence, they are more subtle, grown up bullies. Maybe this person is a friend who you confided in and uses your secret against you. Maybe it is a family member who puts their busy-body nose into your affairs when it is none of their business. Or maybe, it is a colleague who says demeaning things to you.
Why they are toxic: These people have no sense of boundaries and don't respect your feelings or, for that matter, your privacy. These people will cause you to feel frustrated and disrespected.
8. Never Enough Nellies: You can never give enough to these people to make them happy. They take you for granted and have unrealistic expectations of you. They find ways to continually fault you and never take responsibility for anything themselves.
Why they are toxic: You will spend so much time trying to please them, that you will end up losing yourself in the process. They will require all of your time and energy, leaving you worn out and your own needs sacrificed.
All of these personalities have several things in common. 1) the more these people get away with their behavior, the more they will continue. 2) Unfortunately, most of these people don't see that what they do is wrong and as a result, talking to them about it will fall on deaf ears, leaving you wondering if you are the crazy one. 3) Most of these people get worse with age, making their impact on you stronger with time.
Frankly, life is too short to spend your time dealing with toxicity. If you can, avoid spending mucho time with people who are indicative of these behaviors and you'll feel a lot happier. Have you encountered these personalities? What have you done? Any personalities you would add?
i'm fighting for a lvoe that
i now know i can win.
i'm living for this bond,
in mutual sin,
this lvoe within...
it keeps me alive and breathing.
letters, words, phrases,
and i preach of lvoe.
lvoe for you,
lvoe for me,
lvoe for "we,"
lvoe for everything in between.
i ask for this lvoe to be
true and pure.
this lvoe to be ideal.
this lvoe to sustain the status quo.
this lvoe to be real.
you are a reflective of me.
i am a reflective of you.
promise me that we will conquer all
and together create
and give birth to something that
will be created out of our lvoe for one another.
with this i ask of you to be there for me,
as i wil be there for you.
i like to keep it simple and classy
i guess thats why the people,
they don't like me.
i'm not on or in.
everytime i try i know i cannot win.
at least by next year
i know my clothes will have not died.
i pair 'em up,
juice 'em up
by the time i'm done
at least i know they're still alive.
there was times
where i wanted to be "fly"--but
i'm not a big spender
i feel that big spenders are hiding from
the very issues that
are kept in the depths of their minds.
i do not feel,
run off in your his names,
and her names,
and whatever you may desire.
i stay in my
dress down styles.
i don't like anything too flashy.
i like to keep it simple and classy.
May 13, 2009 7:15 PM
Subject: wow. so today was festive.
5:30 am - alarm goes off..."shxt." snooze.
5:40 am - alarm goes off again. "alright i gues i've gotta get up"
5:43 am - shower
6:13 am - first set of text messages arrive
6:45 am - giligan swoops lol
7:30 am - core conditioning teacher starts to kill us
8:20 am - "finally" class is overrr.
9:30 am - pop culture
10:30 am - ewrt 2. teacher is on crack
11:30 am - 1:30 pm - food and convos...
1:30 - 3:10 - HUMAN SEXUALITY.
need i say more?
soft porn. oral sex. pussy. dick. condoms. bc. spermicide. axx. tounge. doggy-style. side-by-side. she on top. he on top. acrobatic lady. harder. softer. masturbation. breasts. vibrator. fingers. unshaved. shaved. female condoms. slurping. fat. long. hard. pleasure. whatturnsyouon. dominatrix. bondage. suck. 69. tongue. mouth. no teeth. "wiggling". wettttt. fxck. clit. headwithnobrain. axx hole. gay. straight. bi. fetish. rough sex. soft sex. "go slow". communication. sex outside. sex inside. sex on top. shxt maybe sex upside down. 1 partner. 8 partners. anal.
ohh it was festive.
V E R Y festive.
(Apr 20 - May 20)
Yesterday Today Tomorrow
Sunday, May 10th, 2009
Questioning your values isn't a productive activity today,
even if a disagreement over money makes you wonder
if your priorities need to be rearranged.
It feels as if whatever you choose,
you're revealing desires that are not as lofty or as altruistic as others.
[envy here] Comparing yourself to anyone else is pointless;
everyone is different.
Just be true to yourself in all that you do.
If you don't have integrity,
your motives will seem artificially transparent.
i may even have a sliiight
[let's get some shxt right though,
i wouldn't want to fxck her,
i just think she's fabulous]
do you catch my drift? lol
man o man.
i knew she wasn't a "good" island girl,
island girls are N E V E R "good."
dreamer of dreams.
broke fashionista, who shows it; litterally.
a lvoe sick, individual.
an all natural chick.
laid back, chill.
a woman with a golden heart.
having itchy feet.
someone of importance.
so how come everyone else
doesnt feel the same way?
these are the thoughts of a bored
who start the drama between artists...
youtube: "keri hilson turning me on remix"
just because she said "you need to step to the left"
they automatically think its about beyonce...
DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE PUT THAT IN THEIR SONGS?
and who the fxck cares if it's about beyonce...
she doesn't care....
she makes hella bank.
i think both bxtches are dope.
so drop it dag nabbit.
that keri hilson dissed beyonce & ciara in her turning me on remix...
the funny shxt:
ALL of beyonce's fans
are like fxck keri,
she's ugly, blah blah blah
when they dont even know if its true.
it could be,
but wtf....who fxcking cares? lol
i've heard soooooooo many people
put "you need to step to the left"
in their songs...
sooooooooooooooooooooooo how is this about beyonce?