3.23.2009

dear father,

the only time
you [old piece of shxt] want to
really speak to me
is when you're yelling at me.
i'm so tired of living in my house.
how can you listen to someone
who you feel doesnt lvoe you?
this is the exact reason why i hate being home.
i don't feel like i'm lvoed here.
you [ops] lie and say that
you pay for my food and clothing...
wtf?
you don't pay for shxt!
you havent paid for anything including the name "maribel"
since i was 12.
the main reason is because
you dont want your other children
to know that you even care for me.
you don't care.
so stop trying to act like you do
in front of everyone else.
i should embarass your axx one of these days.
you always want to talk big shxt,
but never live up to the shxt you say.
sometimes i sit in car
wanting to be involved in an accident
so i won't have to go through this shxt anymore.
this is bullshxt.
i hate you and fxck off.
if you were my real father,
i would see it.
but you're not.
i wish you werent shxt to me,
but you just had to stick 23 chromosomes
on to my DNA.
i don't think i'll ever be happy with you here.
and thats a fact.
i'm depressed all the time.
i havent really cared for myself in a long time.
my soul is lost.
and it's all because of you.
i hate you.