2.19.2009

lost in my thoughts.

lately i've been having these
dreams that seem as though
what i am dreaming is really happening to me,
but i'm sleeping?
i really don't understand exactly
what is going on.
when i wake up in the morning,
i feel as though i only
had a couple hours of sleep.
it's like i can never fully sleep;
and when i am "sleeping"
i'm dreaming of driving in the car,
or speaking to someone,
or at a party or whatever you can think of.
but they seem so real,
like it's actually happening.
it's really hard to describe,
but whatever the hell is happening is beginning to scare me.
i'm beginning to think
that maybe i am just lost in my thoughts.
i am no longer able to
distinguish what is real,
from what is fake.
my mind is confused.
i might think that i told my friend something,
but i really didn't because i was
actually dreaming it.
are these signs of me being psychotic?
are these signs of something
i want to happen,
but won't because i am only dreaming it?
are these signs of insomnia?
and arent i too young to have insomnia?


i haven't been this confused in forever.

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