i was going to post some fashion stuff, but it's only been one day since twenty-ten! lol so i guess that that will be a fail for now. :D haven't posted anything fashion in a while. 2009 was not the best year for me. i was going through some ish y'all. and still going through it...

first post of the new year.

boy has this year been nutzo! i won't go into complete detail, but i got into a car accident (still battling that one out, *sigh), i went natural, i became a vegetarian (let's see how long that lasts lol), i let some people go, met some new people that i have come to enjoy, and hopefully i meet some more this year. i have also finally decided on my major--fashion merchandising, and hopefully i stick to it...basically this year has been a year full of changes for me. i am no longer the same bee i was in 2008. i feel like i have matured and finally figured out who i want to be and not who everyone else wants me to be. my mother may feel like i am weird & different and that i am not her same "bee," but seriously--people change. i guess it was my turn. i am writing this knowing most people won't even come across it, but i feel like i need to write it anyway, just because.

other changes include the relationship with my mother and father, relationships that i regret messing up, but i guess they just don't understand. they're old fashioned africans so that might be a factor, but hopefully that will change. *that by NO means was a new year resolution

speaking of new year resolutions, i refuse to make one. everytime i do, i lose it, forget it, or just don't care for it. there really is no point in making one. i guess just setting goals for oneself throughout the year will do...no a long axx resolution list. stuff happens, plans are wrecked...blaaah!

but anywho,
happy new year to all around this "lonely" world & be safe.

enraptured by this song.

literally;

addicted.

music like this makes me lay back and chill...

and lose my mind in my thoughts
and such...
can you dig it???

oops...

did i ever mention that i finally cut my hair?
well,
i cut it on august fourth
:DDDD
ooopsie daisies......
pictures later
[3 months too late lol]

promise.

haven't posted anything in a while...

as of now:
i'm jamming to some reggae!
woooooooo!
i lvoe jamaican people!
i want to marry somebody who's jamaican
so i can hear his accent 24/7...

anywho...

what's been going on...
nothing much really.

i have a new job!
i tutor for this program
i was in last year (my first year of college)
called "First Year Experience" (FYE)
which i'm happy about.
it's not all about the mulaaa,
i like to help people!
:DDD

school is okay.
i just hope i pass all of my classes
with a B or better...
i'm on a roll here!

the number of depressive episodes
have gone down.

i've decided i need to "reinvent" myself.
this includes:
re-doing my room
changing up my style
etc., etc.
when will all of this be done?
when the mulaaa comes in lol
aaand when i'm not being lazy...

i know what i want to do with my life:
i'm majoring in Fashion Merchandising...
hopefully SFSU will like me...

nuh lingaaaaaa!!!

woooooooooooooow
so my best friend totally ditched me
for her fiance...
sux right?
she doesn't call me or talk to me anymore
&
she basically used me.
i was there for her when SHE needed me,
now that she doesn't need me anymore,
i'm just an invisible (insert vulgar word here) to her.
some friend aye?

hmmm.
there are some FIONE axx dudes at
my school this year.
where have y'all been hiding?
LOL just kidding.
(although i do have a hard time paying attention when one walks by).

i'm still a vigo!
yessss.

and uhm...
i don't know what else to tell y'all lol
my life is pretty boring.
i really do wish it were more innteresting
buuut it isn't
:D
later dudes...

my mind is racing

man so many thoughts on my mind, such as: just about everything is blowing up in my face; i'm just about irritated with everything, including the people around me, near AND far; my life is a mess, i need to pick up the peices and fast; never bee...n so hurt by such words in my life, they just keep coming at me like bees; i need to find new people to be included in my life, NEW ones i can TRUST. as of now i only have a select group that i chose to talk to. patty, rachel, des, jenny, pilar (ha!), and the people i have here on facebook [sorry i dint name you, but you know who you are]; feeling unwanted, invisible, ignored, etc., etc.; can't wait to move; sometimes i wonder if my different is good; homie, stop tryna be real with me and be real with yourself...be true to yourself; my situation is getting more and more nutzo everyday; i need to go somewhere, anywhere away from here; tired of being taken advantage of; tired of people thinking i'm a wink link, no, no honey: i just let you think that; last but not least, and not the last: PEOPLE NEED TO STOP FXCKIN AROUND, it's not a dayum joke [excuse my french].

tell me whyyy

i had this nutzo, but dope dream
that i was one of the stylists for Tyler Perry's movies.

it all started out when he came to my
collegio to do some comedy stuff
and after i got to interview him
[how? i dunno. i think i just asked]
so i was asking about him being homeless
but yet VERY intelligent
[is that rude? not all poor/homeless people are education deficit.
does that make sense? oh well]
him being single,
the success of his movies,
madea, uncle joe, etc...
and we had small talk basically.

so we start talking
about his height amd i stand up next to him--
i'm 5'9.75 so of course i was HELLA shorter than him.
then i talk about how it must be awesome to work
or intern for him because of thew atmosphere.
he looks at me and my outfit
[it was maaad dope!]
and asks "how would like to be one of the stylists on deck?"
somehow one of the stylists decided to leave
because of family issues
so therefore i became the "replacement girl"
[ha! remember that song? real fans know what i'm speaking of!]
i was in a state of shoooooooooock! lol
so then i move to ATL like a couple weeks later
and move into a dope axx apartment
and it goes from there.

maybe i was fantasizing,
i dunno,
but it was dope!
i have a hard time regurgitating stories or dreams
but it was a cool dream/fantasy.
in my dream, mr. perry was,
as wendy williams often says [i lvoe that woman!]
"a friend in my head."

yes,
my dreams are interesting,
but i have a good time when i
partially sleep!


ok i feel bad now because i'm nawt paying
any attention to jimmy fallon!
i swear i have a crush on him, i dunno whyyy.
such a weird crush
ahahahahaha
laterrr.