bored whilst baby-sitting my niece.

i totally just wrote a post about friendship, but um ya; i shut that one down. i'm so bored! lol. hit me up on that twitter ish: twitter.com/mlvoecali. and yes i did spell "love" like this; lvoe. it's a habit. well i might as well write about that instead lol it'll be short...

promise.

sooo the story goes,

i'm dyslexic when it comes to "love." when i think about it, i see other things than what it really is. i see hurt/pain, drama, headaches, heartaches, etc. etc. i also think i'm incapable of "loving" someone. i feel like i haven't received as much lvoe as i could have growing up. i mean did receive lvoe, but honestly, i get tired of receiving lvoe from the same people. i need lvoe from everyone...maybe i'm a brat/greedy/needy like that, but if i don't get lvoe frome other people, i just don't feel right. is that weird? lol like i hate when people don't like me either. i'm like c'mon dude...you should like me. then we can talk about lvoing me. :D i don't know, maybe i have issues, but i feel like i need "love" in my life. this post makes no type of sense, but watev. it makes sense to me lol.

natural hair.

that right there, was the mayhem.




this is my REAL hair! :D (it's longer than it looks)

the weave is OUT!

thank goodness.

as soon as i took it out,
the itching stopped.

miraculous!
i am now a happy bee!

:D

dreadful.

i put a weave in my hair.

i toatally went against all of the stuff i was preaching about.

and now i'm paying for it!!!
MY SCALP IS ITCHING TO THE POINT WHERE
I SWEAR I HAVE CUTS ON MY SCALP.
i need to take this thing off!
N O W .

and i think i will.
my cousin will be mad at me,
but hunni,
this thing is NOT okay...

one of the worst days of my life.

it all started when i woke up late this morning. i usually set my alarm for six o'clock am and give myself thirty mintues to snooze. i don't know if i accidently turned it off or whatever, but i ended up waking up at 7:04. i literally had to jump in and out of the shower. so i was done getting ready by 7:50 and left the house. everything was okay for the time being. astronomy was dope. but then i had to drive all the way to my house to get my ATM card, because stupid me, i always leave it in my sweater/coat pockets (this will be significant later). so i get my card, and drive all the way back to school so i could purchase $180 worth of art supplies and some of the books for my other classes.

next, i stopped by target and got this reversable dress i had my eye on (i think it's too big). tutoring went well--we watched "crash" (too many actors in ONE movie lol). in case you are wondering, the way my fellow tutors and i tutor is not your average (another story). but anywho, i left by 1:30 because i needed to get the rest of my art supplies. so i drove to jo-ann and michaels, but they didn't have the items i needed, i was only able to find the newsprint sketchbook i needed. sooo i drove ALL the way across town to this art supply store called "university art."

i sorta took the long way, but either way it didn't matter because the car gave out right when i turned the corner. I FAILED TO PUT GAS IN THE CAR! i had thought about it millions of times while i was driving, even though i knew the light was on! so they car started to slow down and i had to park in a RED zone. RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE FIRE HYDRANT! all i could say at the time was "fxck my life." so i put the emergency lights on and walked to the art supply store (it was like a minute away from the car) to use the phone. why you ask? because i failed to charge my cell phone. it was beyond dead. like in another galaxy beyond. so i call my mother and instead of asking how i was doing, she decided to yell at me. so i tell her where i'm sort of located LOL and my father comes to the rescue! with $5 worth of gas. this car was sooo beyond E, five dollars was not enough. so dad leaves, because he thought i was okay, but the car would not start. so i waited a couple minutes in hopes of the gas "settling in," HOWEVER, it did not settle in. not even close. at this time, the car wouldn't even budge. so i waited for an hour, and i went to the store again to make the dreadful call to my mother (my father is not helpful, i swear he hates me). so he comes and tries to help me out, but it wasn't working. he calls the car rental place and then they came and took the car and gave my dad a new one (the ending was rushed lol). this whole situation was around 4 hours long. maybe longer.

oh ya, and i didn't eat for the whole day either. me and my tummy were having a depressing axx convo. we fell in lvoe later though. :D

turn left.

i'm still crazy for some little dragon...

i was going to post some fashion stuff, but it's only been one day since twenty-ten! lol so i guess that that will be a fail for now. :D haven't posted anything fashion in a while. 2009 was not the best year for me. i was going through some ish y'all. and still going through it...

first post of the new year.

boy has this year been nutzo! i won't go into complete detail, but i got into a car accident (still battling that one out, *sigh), i went natural, i became a vegetarian (let's see how long that lasts lol), i let some people go, met some new people that i have come to enjoy, and hopefully i meet some more this year. i have also finally decided on my major--fashion merchandising, and hopefully i stick to it...basically this year has been a year full of changes for me. i am no longer the same bee i was in 2008. i feel like i have matured and finally figured out who i want to be and not who everyone else wants me to be. my mother may feel like i am weird & different and that i am not her same "bee," but seriously--people change. i guess it was my turn. i am writing this knowing most people won't even come across it, but i feel like i need to write it anyway, just because.

other changes include the relationship with my mother and father, relationships that i regret messing up, but i guess they just don't understand. they're old fashioned africans so that might be a factor, but hopefully that will change. *that by NO means was a new year resolution

speaking of new year resolutions, i refuse to make one. everytime i do, i lose it, forget it, or just don't care for it. there really is no point in making one. i guess just setting goals for oneself throughout the year will do...no a long axx resolution list. stuff happens, plans are wrecked...blaaah!

but anywho,
happy new year to all around this "lonely" world & be safe.